


Tell Me The Story

by animationisart



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-10-28
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:29:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3605076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animationisart/pseuds/animationisart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sasuke wants more answers about his brothers past and there's only one person left alive he can turn to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     Her stomach was finally truly protruding, now that she was being well fed. After the war had ended they returned her to her childhood home, surprisingly one of the only buildings that hadn't been destroyed. She waddled around the house with less efficiency than she thought she would, but she was still so weak after it all. She had brought down a mat to where the shop once was so she wouldn't have to brave the stairs in her current state.

     She angrily sighed as she dropped one of the small boxes she had been trying to unpack for weeks. She groaned as she attempted to squat down but stopped cold as she saw a hand reach down for her and slowly lift up the box. Her eyes made contact with black eyes that she recognized, and she didn't move as he placed the box on the counter behind her that she was gripping. Her breath became heavy as she tried not to look at him directly in the eyes, her anger mounting once again. 

 

     "You…. you looked like you could use some help," his voice was quiet and low. He didn't look her in the eyes either, not knowing what to say. 

     "I told you to stay away from me. He told me not to kill you but that doesn't mean I have to tolerate you in my home," her voice sounded empty and tired. She yelped as the baby kicked suddenly, grasping her side. He quickly helped her sit in one of the chairs, even though she tried to repel his touch. He sat down across from her, in the place that _he_ once sat. When they were young… she remembered and smiled sadly again. He always sat there. But his younger brother was a poor substitute. He had no sense of humor, was filled with rage. He wasn't gentle or selfless. He didn't even look very much like him, right down to his mannerisms. No matter how many people said they looked alike she could never see it.

     "I want answers. Please Saya." She couldn't remember the last time he had said please. Perhaps he had been eight or nine the last time she had heard him say it. She scoffed at him, attempting to sound polite and honorable now, after all he had done. 

     "You asked me for answers last week and the week before that. Your brother and I fucked, I am now pregnant, and he didn't have the decency to stick around because he loved you and Konoha more than he loved anything else. That's all there is. Now leave." 

     "I know that you know about the massacre." 

     "What does that change? I've known about it longer than you. It doesn't make a god damn difference Sasuke. So I'm asking you one last time, get the hell out of my house." 

     "Please." He was almost crying, "Please Saya. You knew him better than anyone. Just tell me anything. What his favorite food was, when did you meet, how did you survive in the Akatsuki…. please Saya anything." 

     "I don't owe you anything. You are the reason every friend I have ever had in this world is dead. You have ruined my entire life and you expect me to just give you whatever you want, just like everyone else. You have been given everything yet you wasted all of it. I will not waste my words on someone who doesn't deserve them." 

     "I'm the only family you have now. Everyone in this village hates you just because the child you're carrying is his. I'm the only one who knows the truth about him and I'm the only one who can be there for this child. Please let me be there for the mother of that child."

     "I didn't ask for your help. I don't want you to even see my child. I can do this outcast thing just fine on my own. Thank you for your concern." 

     "Don't you want to open up to someone? Don't you want to tell everyone what happened to you?"

     "I do want to open up to someone. But he's dead." She stared him down, hoping the weight of her words would finally hit him for once in his life. But he was stubborn, and she knew he would be back eventually. Every time she thought she was rid of him he came back a week or so later. She had thought about getting different locks but it wouldn't have mattered. He could get in even if she changed it a thousand times. 

 

 

     She heard the gentle knock on her front door the next morning. She knew it couldn't be Sasuke because he never knocked, he just let himself in. She groaned as she started to get up. The bell on the old door didn't ring anymore but she saw the door open. Her younger friend with lovely brown buns came in with the pink haired girl behind her. Saya stiffened as she saw Sasuke's obsessive little girlfriend come in after her friend. He had sent a few different friends over to try and plead his case. Kakashi, Naruto. He even got the Hyuga girl to try. But she had told them all to leave and asked them not to come back. Not unless they intended to buy something from her. 

     "Hey preggers. You look like you're going to burst any minute now," Saya chuckled, looking at her friend who was almost ready to give birth. 

     "Eh, the baby has a few more months. I don't really want it any sooner. Although I'm tired of being fat," Tenten smiled down at her.

     "What is she doing here?" Saya motioned her head towards Sakura. 

     "Sasuke said you were having some pain yesterday so I just came to make sure you were okay." 

     "I'm perfectly fine. The baby was just kicking. The real pain is him not leaving me alone when I've told him multiple times to stay the fuck away from me." 

     "He just wants to make things right Saya. Get to know you, for his brother." 

     "He can't make things right. Not when he won't even try to get the Hokage to tell the whole village what Itachi was really like. That he saved the village from war more than once. I'm tired of seeing his killer every week. Tell your boyfriend to stay away from me."

     "He's not my boyfriend." _Good._  Saya didn't think that another girl should be tortured by the Uchiha clan. 

     "I brought you some food. We need to pig out. Keep that baby healthy right?” Tenten smiled at her, trying her best to stay out of drama as always. Saya looked at Tenten and sat down next to her as she pulled out a number of different foods. She remembered that when she had gotten back, Tenten was another woman pregnant without the father there for her. They had bonded after a few conversations, mostly about how unprepared they were to be mothers. So they had started educating themselves together. She hadn't shared much with her and Tenten didn't share much back. They didn't want to talk about their empty chests, they wanted to talk about the lives growing within them that was forcing them to be strong. 

     She wanted Konan. She missed her dearly, the best female friend she had known. They had both been weary of one another. Saya could understand why, another woman in the myst of a group of incredibly horny men. And Saya wasn't able to protect herself the way Konan was. Saya was concerned with Konan because she was obviously in a place of power. Well, everyone had a place of power over her in the beginning. Yet they had warmed up to each other after about a year, even though Konan was gone a large amount of the time. Konan started to write to her when she was away for an extended amount of time, and Saya had begun to enjoy it. 

 

     When she woke up she got excited because she could have sworn he was there. That night, she thought she heard him crawl into bed and tell her he loved her before pulling the covers over both of them. But she looked over on the mat and there was no one there, the sheets untouched. She curled in on herself and started to sob. She knew as all the tears started to hit the sheets that it was going to be one of those days again, one of those days where she cried all day and didn't leave the room, not even for food. She opened up the floorboard and pulled his jacket out from it and wrapped herself in it. His scent had almost completely faded. She laid back down and put one hand on her stomach. She tried to tell herself to be strong for the baby. She wasn't made for this, she couldn't handle all of the pain some days. 

     She was whimpering so loudly that she didn't hear the front door open and the footsteps coming towards her. She was wrapped underneath his jacket, her head underneath as well. Gentle hands touched her lightly, trying to get her to sit up. She reluctantly sat and felt numb as he handed her a handkerchief. He picked her up and put her in the chair in the kitchen as he started to unpack some food he had brought for her and put some tea on. She continued to cry, a muffled sound underneath the handkerchief. She almost felt embarrassed. No one had seen her like this since she had come back. He always caught her on days when she was furious or numb. 

     "Sakura says that too much stress isn't good for the baby. Maybe we should get you on some kind of medicine to help…." He looked back at her and she was starting to slow her crying. She didn't like crying when there was an audience. That was something that she and everyone in the Akatsuki had in common when they were still alive. Deidara always said that she looked ugly when she cried, all puffed up and red. He wasn't wrong, she certainly was ugly when she sobbed. Her eyes almost always swelled shut after about thirty minutes or so. 

     He handed her a cup of tea and continued to put things into her empty fridge. She wished he would just go away. She wished that he would leave her alone. He looked too much like his brother, and in some ways he was like him. But more than anything he was a constant reminder that Itachi loved him more than he would ever love her. That left such a bitter taste in her mouth at night. He reminded her of when Itachi had brought over groceries after her parents had died. She would be crying like she was now and he would go about his business, putting things away. But he would try to make light conversation, sometimes getting her to make a hiccuped laugh. Sasuke was silent and it felt wrong. All of it felt wrong. 

     "You want answers, right kid?" She whispered, almost inaudible. He turned and looked at her. He nodded and sat down across from her.

     "It's your lucky day. I'm vulnerable and lonely. And I'm tired of carrying the pain all on my own. Maybe… maybe it's time that you learned exactly what you took away from me." He looked down, as though he could be ashamed. She couldn't remember a time when he had been ashamed of himself. She knew he had been, but he must have been very young when she saw it. 

     "Can you start at the beginning?" She smiled. The beginning. 

     "I suppose that will have to do." 

 

 

     Everyone knew of Itachi. From an early age he was one of the only shinobi that the village raved about. He was so young, and everyone was consumed with child prodigies. But people like me didn't get to meet people like him. He was one of those people that protected regular civilians, like my mother and I. He was one of those people that would go on missions to prevent threats from coming to the village. My father was a medical ninja who worked at the hospital, so even he rarely saw the child prodigy. Everyone always remembers the day they first saw Itachi Uchiha in his full glory. Most of the girls in the village giggled about how cute he was, hoping to talk to him even at an early age. Even at age ten I was a realist and I knew that I would probably never meet him face to face.

     The first time I saw him was at his Chunin exam. I was in the audience with my parents and I noticed how young he was in comparison to the other participants. It was hard to imagine someone as young as myself could have that much power already, completely dominating the tournament. I had to admit, I started to fancy him by the end. It was a foolish notion that I would rid myself of by age eleven, because we lived in two different worlds. But he always hesitated to use physical force, preferring technique and strategy over wounding his opponents. And I admired him in those few days that I saw him compete. For over a month he was all my father would talk about, about how great the young prodigy had been, how lucky the village was to have him. 

     I didn't see him again for a long time. When we were age twelve, I had just closed up the herb shop for my mother and was sweeping all of the dust out the front of the shop when I saw him. He was breaking up a fight outside of the bar across the street, calmly pulling them apart. I hadn't seen him in two years, but he was still as handsome to me as ever. It was an odd attraction, not knowing anything about him other than what others said. But after the two drunkards went their separate ways he turned around and made eye contact with me. I blushed and went back to my sweeping. I had never gotten a good look at him before. He looked so much more mature now, especially for a twelve year old. I hadn't even hit puberty yet and there he was, looking almost like a full grown Uchiha. I caught him smile a bit at me as he walked away rather casually. 

     I assumed that would be the last I would see him. He was starting to become incredibly busy. He was in Anbu at age 11, something that was completely unheard of. There was talk about him being promoted to Anbu captain. He was already set to be the leader of the clan. He was essentially a god to the entire village. Everyone either wanted to be him or be with him. I heard even older women gushing about his good looks and manners, something that disturbed and fascinated me. I would always turn away from their conversations, embarrassed for them. But I suppose you want the events rather than my musings? I believe I was leading up to how we met. 

     My mother was receiving a load of herbs in the back of the shop that day, leaving me in the front by myself. Business was slow at the moment, flu season coming to a close and most of the shinobi went to the hospital rather than getting herbal remedies. But I had been dealing with an incredibly cranky elderly man who was taking up an insane amount of my time so I hadn’t noticed them coming in. Once the old man had given up and started to turn around I sighed and sat down in relief, rubbing my temples. 

     “Is this a bad time?” I jolted up as I saw Shisui Uchiha smiling at me confidently and Itachi looking more shy beside him. I couldn’t tell if he was averting my eyes, being unable to see their pupils. But Shisui was grinning at me as he nudged his cousin affectionately. 

     “No of course not I’m sorry!” I nervously stuttered. I jolted up and fidgeted a little underneath the counter. No Uchiha had ever been in the shop while I was running it. And my mother usually dealt with all of them for me. 

     “Don’t be sorry. We clearly came in at an inconvenient time,” Itachi said calmly. 

     “Can I get you two anything?” Shisui nudged him once again and Itachi looked incredibly uncomfortable. 

     “My mother has a terrible cough. Could you get me anything for that?” Itachi asked. He was more awkward than I had thought he would be. 

     “Sure, of course! Is she experiencing mucus or is it a dry cough?” 

     “Yeah Itachi, what kind of cough is it?” Shisui rolled his eyes and I felt the confusion rush into my mind. 

     “I… I believe it’s a dry cough.” I started digging through the wall for thyme tea, trying not to feel nervous with them both looking at me. 

     “Here. Give her some of this tea and put some honey or lemon with it. It should help clear her cough and soothe her throat just fine. Works almost every time.” He took the bag from my hand and we accidentally touched and I thought I might die of embarrassment. He quickly retracted his hand and swiftly left some money in my hand.

     “You… you can keep the change.”  He turned on his heel and almost bolted out of the shop while Shisui stayed behind. 

     “Do you serve tea here by any chance? I have a feeling that he’ll be wanting to come back without having to make up some kind of excuse.” My face flushed as I nodded. I handed him a menu of our teas.

     “We have lots of teas that promote good health, especially for shinobi. You can take that with you if you want.” 

     “I’ll be sure to give it to him. I look forward to seeing you soon.” As he left I could hear my mother chuckling in the corner. I whirled around, my face a bright red.

     “What?!” I demanded. My mother started laughing harder as she set the boxes down onto the counter. 

     “Oh what it was like to be young and attempting to flirt.” 

     “Please he was not trying to flirt with me.” She continued laughing. 

     “He reminds me of your father at that age. Just a complete nervous wreck.” 

     “He was not flirting with me! Why on earth would THE Itachi Uchiha want to flirt with me? I am probably the least appealing person in the whole village.” 

     “Now don’t be overdramatic. You are very pretty and if anyone could ever talk to you for more than a few moments they would know that you’re a very sweet girl.” I rolled my eyes at my mother as she went forward unpacking the boxes. I tried my best not to think on it. After a day or so I thought that would be the last of it and I wouldn’t hear from Itachi Uchiha ever again. 

 

     But he was back. Before the week ended he was back, but this time by himself. My mother saw him before I did and scooted away to go out back and do something else, probably pretending to do something while eavesdropping. He came in, looking somewhat nervous once again. I smoothed out the front of my clothes, trying to look a little less like a homeless girl. My hair was thrown up in a bun again, something that I regretted as he came in, almost analyzing everything I was doing. I started twirling the end of one of the loose strands and fidgeting. 

     “How is your mom doing?” 

     “She’s doing much better thank you,” he replied as he looked down, blushing slightly. I was seeing something that a million girls would kill to see. 

     “Can I get you something else for her? She might need some more to feel completely better.” He shook his head slowly.

     “No she’s much better thank you.” 

     “Oh do you need your change then? I still have it from last time.” 

     “No, I meant it when I said I wanted you to keep it. I’m here because….” He was looking down when he stopped, not knowing how to talk to me. I had a feeling that he didn’t talk to many other people and the person he must talk the most with was Shisui.”Shisui and I were wondering if you would like to hangout with us sometime.” 

     “I would like that very much.” He looked down and smiled. 

     “I’m going to be gone for the next week… but if you would like to do something when I get back…” 

     “That would be really nice. I never get out of the shop. Just… drop by. I’m sure my mom won’t mind.” He nodded and bowed quickly before walking out of the shop. And I had no idea how to react-


	2. Chapter 2

 

     “So my brother just walked up to you and asked you on a date?” Sasuke looked at her as though he was taking notes with his eyes. She rolled her own and sighed. Did he even bother to listen to her?

     “No, I don’t believe it was a date. Unless you would bring your cousin along on a date with you.” 

     “But did Shisui even go?” Sasuke had a feeling that his cousin abandoned his brother. Shisui had a habit of pushing Itachi to do things he wasn’t comfortable with, and talking to a girl he fancied would be something Shisui would attempt to make him do on his own. 

     “Do you want me to tell you the story or do you just want me to answer your questions?” She snapped, becoming annoyed. He was talking far more than normal. 

     “I would prefer both.” She rolled her eyes as her stomach started to growl. Sasuke smirked and started to get up.

     “You don’t have to cook for me. I’m perfectly capable.” 

     “I know.” He ignored her and continued to start lunch. She thought it was odd how he could seem so cold and then caring. He was just like his brother in that regard. She hadn’t been able to tell when Itachi was being cruel on purpose or whether he was oblivious. But as time went on she learned he was more oblivious than anything else. But his brother was usually knowingly cruel, though she knew herself to be biased in the matter. She returned herself to her tea, and tried to ignore the swirling cravings that had been swarming her for days. 

     “Are…. are you going to continue?” His question made her sigh. She hadn’t planned on telling him even a fraction of her life. He didn’t deserve her words. She knew that she could stop herself at any time, but…. what was the point? She may as well give Itachi everything he wanted. 

     “I suppose I can talk more while I’m waiting,” she whispered. _It will feel just like your reminiscing with a friend. Just forget who you’re with._  


  
I waited the entire week for him to come back. I could hardly contain my nerves or excitement. My mother was starting to become concerned with my behavior, as I was never so irrational or easily distracted. She was trying to suggest that I was going through puberty. Hell, I might have been. I can’t really say even now; most women remember when puberty started but I can’t say I do. It all feels like a blur after a certain point, days bled into months….

     Anyways…. I had little idea of what he might have been doing in his week away. I knew there was a good chance it was very dangerous, but it was none of my business. They weren’t allowed to talk about their missions, even if they were over for years. I thought that must be awfully lonely, hardly ever being able to recall tales of the old days to ones children or friends. 

     Word got around to my mother that Itachi was back from mission. His whereabouts were the talk of the town, so it wasn’t difficult to locate him. And I panicked as though it were a date, pulling at my hair in every direction to force it perfectly into place. I even put on some makeup to hide all my imperfections, tried to look as though I had dressed casually. I didn’t want him to think I was one of his obsessive fans. I didn’t have any friends, so I wasn’t sure what to do. I planned to do it everyday until he and Shisui showed up; I couldn’t be sure if they would show up at all, but I was willing to hope. 

     But I didn’t have to wait. He showed up around closing time and came in, his face covered in dirt and his clothes looked beat up. Shisui wasn’t with him and I slowly walked over. He smiled, something I was sure was rare; it was beautiful. 

     “Are you ok? You could have gone home first….” I didn’t want it to seem like I was forcing him to be here. Or that he couldn’t clean himself up first.

     “I’m fine. I couldn’t really go home… they would have held me up all night and then I wouldn’t have been able to keep my promise. Shisui is going to be a little late though,” he said in his quiet voice. I noticed a cut near the top of his hairline, and I was worried that he may be more hurt than he let on. 

     “Are you sure? You can get your wound dressed if you want. I’m qualified to do that I think,” I smiled shyly at him. He put his hand to his forehead and no blood came off.

     “I… I don’t think this is mine,” he whispered. I froze in awkward silence, not knowing what to say to him. I had seen plenty of blood in life, but my father had never hurt anyone in his life, healing people who had limbs torn off and the like instead. He stayed there as well, perhaps not sure what to say to a civilian who had never been in a fight in her life. I hadn’t even broken a bone, not that he could have known that. Minutes passed without either of us moving our gazes locked. I could feel myself becoming horrified, as though I had done something wrong. 

     Shisui entering the shop ended the uncomfortable silence between the two of us, as I turned my own gaze to him. Itachi didn’t move much as his cousin came in, his face still in a confused state of what to say. Shisui came in at the most awkward moment of my life. And his grin said it all as the door shut behind him.

     “Whoa Itachi. You look like shit. Take a shower why don’t you?” He teased. Itachi smiled at him, though he looked a little annoyed with his teasing. But he turned back to me and rolled his eyes, his smile returning.

     “So… do you want to go?” Itachi looked down and away from me, and I smiled shyly. I couldn’t help but fidget constantly, being twelve and having no friends. I nodded and Shisui rolled his eyes this time, like he couldn’t believe two people could fit so much awkward into one room. Shisui opened the door for us, being the closest. I shuffled myself out the door, followed by the two boys, letting them lead the way into town. I wasn’t far out of the village, but isolated enough to be left alone when desired. I think we would have spent the entire time in silence if Shisui hadn’t been there asking me a thousand questions to keep the silence at bay. Your brother and I were two of the most awkward pre-teens in the world, and if you don’t believe me you can ask anyone our age. 

     We finally stopped at a small restaurant in town that wasn’t too far. I noticed that all of the girls did a double-take as soon as we entered, their eyes almost filled with hearts over the two Uchiha boys. All of the older men gave them respectful nods of appreciation as we sat down at the bar, me in between the two of them. I could hear them whispering about how if Itachi hadn’t been so quick, his whole team would be dead; they were lucky they were all just in the hospital. I realized that the blood on him must have been his teammates and I felt sorry for all of them instantly. 

     All three of us politely ordered our food and waited patiently. Shisui stopped trying to make small talk; I wasn’t very interesting and it was clear that people were listening to our conversation intently, trying to hear as much from the child prodigy as possible. I twiddled with my fingers nervously for awhile, looking down at the table intently.

     “I’m sorry….” I whispered. Itachi looked up swiftly and tilted his head in confusion.

     “What for?” I blushed as I suddenly felt very embarrassed of myself. I almost plastered my face to the table at that point, wishing I hadn’t said anything.

     “I…. I don’t have any friends. I don’t know how to act, especially not in public. And I’m incredibly boring, especially compared to you two. So… I guess I’m sorry that I’m boring you.” Shisui started giggling into his drink and Itachi looked as though he would throw something at him.

     “I don’t really have any friends either. Only that idiot next to you is really my friend. But don’t belittle yourself just because you aren’t a shinobi. I think normal can be more exciting than the things I do.” I rolled my eyes at him, and then almost kicked myself for daring to roll my eyes at the village's star.

     “Please, everyone in town loves you. I mean you’re perfect, look at you. And you get to go on adventures all the time, while I sweep the same place everyday and deal with cranky old people.” He smiled shyly as I went on my rant and looked sincerely at me.

     “That sounds like heaven to me. And I’m not perfect… please don’t assume that I am, like everyone else.” I suddenly felt a huge pang of guilt. I didn’t want to be like all those girls who thought there wasn’t a single thing wrong with him. People treated him like a god, when really he was just a boy like any other.

     “Yeah, he’s definitely not perfect. He doesn’t like wasabi, and he’s a workaholic. That is the worst combination of things in a man,” Shisui remarked. I started laughing and was glad to see Itachi smiling too. 

     “I’m not a huge fan of ginger, so we’re not that different,” I chuckled.

     “Ew, what am I going to do with you two? Spice haters, that’s what you are. Fucking gross.” We continued to laugh, and I think Itachi may have joined in for a moment. When the food got to us I tried my best not to shovel it into my mouth and eat like a lady. I was sitting with two boys from an established clan; I couldn’t look like a little piglet in front of them. 

     I watched out of the corner of my eye; I saw girls swooning over just their table manners. Those boys could have gotten with any girl they wanted in the village, or any boy if they wanted. But Itachi sat oblivious, or just plain ignoring their blatant staring. While I was still finishing my food, the two boys swooped in and paid the bill, which made me embarrassed. I didn’t want it to look like I was on a date with either of them, because I didn’t even know them. 

     Both of them walked me home, the street lights starting to come on. It wasn’t very late out, but they insisted on making sure I got home alright. When we were at the door, Shisui stayed back by the lamp post and Itachi walked me to the door. I crossed my arms nervously as he looked down at his feet. 

     “It was nice to see you…. and finally spend time with you. We were both looking forward to it. I was wondering if you would like to do something tomorrow, in the afternoon?"

     “Yes!” I said far too enthusiastically. I blushed and tried to cover up my embarrassment. 

     “But… Shisui can’t come tomorrow. He has some things he has to do with his family… is that ok?” 

     “Of course… do you want to meet here again?” He nodded and smiled a little bit. 

     “Okay… well I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 

     “Yeah, see you then. It was nice to hangout.” I waved goodbye to Shisui as Itachi met up with him and started walking back home. 

 


	3. Chapter 3

     “So my brother did ask you on a date. You just went the day after.” 

     “Do you know how to listen?” Saya asked angrily. It hadn’t been a date, just two people going to spend time with one another. Why was everything about romance to these teenagers? She hadn’t even thought that was a possibility when it was happening; she thought Itachi just wanted a normal friend, someone who he wouldn’t have to talk to about shinobi things. Or perhaps he was bored and wondered how other people in the village lived. She never thought it was a date, and she was certain Itachi hadn’t presumed it as such. 

     Sasuke rolled his eyes as he continued to pile food into the pot. She had no idea what he was cooking, but her rumbling stomach told her that she would eat whatever he made. She had been eating more than she should be, even though she was pregnant. She had gone through months of barely eating and she still looked too thin. She hadn’t looked healthy in ages, and when she looked in a mirror she could understand why people worried for her. But the depression clawing at her insides made her feel constant loss of appetite. And even when she did get herself out of bed to cook, it was difficult to bring herself to cook something that wasn’t instant. She tried to think of the child’s well being, but it wasn’t always easy.

     “My brother wasn’t the type of person to ask just _anyone_ to spend time with him. You had to have known he was interested.” 

     “I didn’t make any assumptions about your brother. I didn’t know him; I was perfectly happy just having a friend. And I’m sure he was happy to have a friend who wasn’t trying desperately to be with him, in that way. Sometimes…. sometimes people just need friendship. And when you’re lucky it develops into something more. It isn’t always instant and it isn’t always romantic,” she commented, looking down at the table. She had been so very lonely. When she had decided she wasn’t cut out to be a shinobi, her friend pool diminished immensely. All the girls in her age group hated her from the beginning, but once Itachi and Shisui started to pay attention to her, they hated her more. Some of them tried to befriend her just to get close to the Uchiha boys, but she wasn’t foolish enough to think any of them truly wished to be her friend. She didn’t have any friends after Itachi until Sasori. 

     Sasuke nodded and turned back to his task. She didn’t think he understood what she meant. She knew he didn’t have very many friends, and he had even fewer friends that he spent time with. And one of them… that girl named Sakura, she was interested in him romantically from the beginning, so she wasn’t the kind of friend Saya was talking about. Naruto might be the closest thing to what she had with Sasori for Sasuke. Someone who could be trusted, someone who would never give up on him. She knew that Sasuke needed that, just as she had needed it. 

     “Did you start hanging out with them a lot?” 

     “I spent time with them whenever they weren’t on missions. I spent more time with Itachi than with Shisui. I was rarely alone with Shisui; he was always busy with family and other things… probably girls. He was easier to speak to than your brother. But Itachi didn’t like to go home very often, so we spent a lot of time together, usually on the outskirts of the village. We attracted less attention that way.” She had missed them when they left. She would feel incredibly lonely until Itachi or Shisui showed up at her family business. It always felt like a pleasant surprise to her, no matter how many times it happened in the short time they had known each other. And the longer she knew the two of them, the more time Itachi spent away from home, especially near the end. He was hardly ever away from her, until the night of the massacre. 

     Itachi was on of those people she had tried to figure out from the moment he looked at her. He was a puzzle when it came to emotions; whenever she thought she put some of the pieces together he would change her view of the puzzle. At first it had been her goal to decode why he had picked her. Why her, of all the plain, boring girls in the village? She hadn’t even been friends with him when they were toddlers. But as they grew, she realized that there was a larger puzzle beneath his exterior that interested her more. Memorizing his body language, his eye movement; it almost became a game for her. Sometimes the game seemed unfair, sometimes it had felt as though she could win. But it was always an interesting game, an exchange between two people that he seemed to enjoy as well. 

     “So… what did you two do then?” Sasuke was busy stirring whatever he was cooking, and she almost found herself chuckling at the memory. She remembered how she tried to get ready like a total nut, how their were many moments of silence that felt like eternity. When she was younger she would have been mortified to talk about it, but she was starting to remember every moment with him fondly, even the heart wrenching ones. 

 

     I got up early that morning in a state of panic. I was going to be with someone the village idolized, alone. I spent an enormous amount of my morning in the mirror, combing my hair. I stared blankly into it, trying to figure out _why._ There were so many kunoichi that he could have far more in common with than myself. Yellow eyes stared back at me, still as ugly as they had been the day before. I had the plain, boring hair from my mother’s side of the family, a light brown hue that made me look utterly boring compared to everyone else in the village. 

     The rest of my morning was spent panicking. I swept every room in the house and the shop, even though my mother had told me to take the day off. I found that doing an insane amount of chores took my mind off it momentarily. I had been bracing myself for when he would start to talk to me and realize that I was boring. And I was trying to make sure I didn’t become too attached to him, just in case he couldn’t take me anymore. 

     He arrived fairly early, coming through the shop. I heard my mother call for me as the bell rang on the door. I scurried out the door with him close behind so that my mother wouldn’t say something to embarrass me, because knowing her she would say we were a cute couple. He looked at me, very confused by the need to rush out the door. 

     “So… ah where do you want to go?” I asked nervously. 

     “I know a quiet spot we can go…. so we don’t have to worry about everyone looking at us.” I couldn’t even imagine how it must feel to be stared at constantly. I had a hard time even getting my family to talk to me at reunions. 

     “That sounds nice,” I smiled at him. I wanted to spend time with him and I was doing everything in my power to make sure he didn’t notice I was nervous. I didn’t want him to be uncomfortable with me or think that I still believed him to be perfect. We walked side by side into the woods nearby. It didn’t take long to get to his personal spot; it was near the stream less than a mile from my house. I sat down near the edge and took my sandals off letting my feet relax in the cool water. He sat down next to me and for quite a long time we were completely silent. My heart was racing as I wondered what he was thinking about, if he would change his mind about having an association with me. 

     “So…. I heard that you saved all your teammates. Everyone is singing your praises. My dad says if you had gotten them home any later they wouldn’t have made it.” I didn’t know what to say, so I went for the easiest route. 

     “Your father is the one who saved their lives. I just got them out of there quickly. It was my fault they were injured in the first place…. I was reckless. One little mistake, and they almost died because of me.” 

     “Hey, it happens. I didn’t mean to make you upset, I’m really sorry. I’m such an idiot.” I chastised myself for bringing it up. I should have asked him something stupid instead of making him relive a horrible experience. 

     “Hey, it’s ok. You were just trying to make conversation… Sorry I had to make it dark, I was just trying to compliment your father. He’s an amazing medical shinobi.” 

     “He would love to hear you say that. He’s one of the people that sings your praises. Sometimes it makes me kind of jealous.” 

     “Sorry… it’s not the first time I’ve heard that.” The silence came back for a few minutes. I felt like I shouldn’t have bothered trying to make friends with him. I couldn’t make a friend to save my life, starting from birth. I had no one except my parents. They had tried when I was younger, but I wasn’t made for other children. I didn’t know how to talk to them, and with every moment of silence I thought I was even more loathsome. 

     “I… I heard from your father that your family has an interesting kekkei genkai. It sounded pretty interesting,” he commented, changing the subject. 

     “Yeah… my dad doesn’t have it. I don’t think I do either, but the Rinha clan’s medical abilities are renowned. It’s said that people who actually have the kekkei genkai can duplicate the appearance and abilities of anyone. It’s pretty amazing, especially if you’re not very strong yourself. I can’t imagine using someone else’s strength against them.” I knew the leader of my clan was said to be the master of our abilities, but I had never met that side of the family. I only knew my mother’s side, the boring old Kagetsu family. They were just a family of herb sellers. 

     “You are certain you don’t have it?"

     “Well not really. I mean, I’m not a shinobi. I don’t use my chakra, so I have no idea. Besides, I would need someone from my family to teach me. And we don’t talk to them very often… They live too far away. I’d have to leave the village to learn it. And I wasn’t made to be a shinobi. I’m fine just being boring, Saya Rinha.” 

     “Why do you think you wouldn’t be a good shinobi?"

     “I don’t have the right temperament. I want to help people, but I could never kill anyone. When they started talking about that in classes I knew I needed to get out while I still could. I know you probably think I’m weak…. I mean I am.” He looked like he was distant while I was rambling. 

     “No… you’re much stronger than you think. There is no shame in refusing to end another life. It’s very admirable.” 

     “I’m sorry… this is probably not the kind of thing you want to be talking about…especially not on one of your days off.” I didn’t know what else to talk about; his whole life was either fighting or dealing with his family. 

     “It’s ok… can you talk about your family? I want to know all about them. Talk about yourself…. just talk about your life, not about me.” He still looked so distant, so tired of living his life. He looked desperate to be someone else, even if it was only through me for an hour or two. And I immediately felt willing to do it, even though I didn’t know him. I could understand wishing to be someone else.

     “I can do that!” I smiled at him, and he gave me a heartfelt smile back. It was the first time I had ever felt connected to him, even hardly knowing him. 

 

     “So…. he didn’t talk about us? At all?” He put the soup into a bowl and placed it before her. It smelled delicious, but she was so used to food pills that she almost didn’t want to eat it. She had always scolded Itachi for only eating food pills whenever he went on missions, but she soon fell prey to them as well. 

     “He did, eventually. I think… I think he needed to be someone else. I know how that feels…. the need to escape reality, even if it’s only momentarily.” She tried to do it as much as possible now that she was alone again. 

     She forced herself to eat, hearing Sasori’s voice in her ear. She could see almost all of them, sitting in the hideout on the rare occasion they were all together. Sasori always pressuring her to eat, even though he did not need to. Deidara complaining about how the food wasn’t very good, Hidan and Kakuzu at each other’s throats in the corner. Kisame chuckling at the scene, Itachi silent in another corner. It had been a sad, dysfunctional group, but she had called them her family. It took her a few moments to shake the images of them dying from her mind and force herself to eat. She forced it down as quickly as she could, feeling hollow inside even full. She knew what part of the story would be next. 

     “He didn’t tell me about your family until…. until my parents died.” 

 


	4. Chapter 4

  I hardly remember the time between us meeting and my parents demise. We were friends for six months before it happened, with Itachi and Shisui fading in and out, between missions and family. I spent a large amount of free time with Itachi, and the silence started to feel comforting. We could sit there without saying a word, and it wouldn’t matter to me any longer. It didn’t mean he was thinking horrible things about me or found me boring, it simply meant that neither one of us had anything interesting to say. There was a simple peace just being next to someone, even if we didn’t say a word.

    My father was killed in a surprise attack from a missing ninja that had been brought in. They were wanted in another village and was critically injured. But in their rage, they killed my father, who was only trying to save their life. But I wasn’t home when the news came to my mother. I was out with Itachi, sitting by the river. When they found me I couldn’t feel a thing. Itachi walked me home and I tried to think of how I could help my mother bear such a loss…. a loss that I could not yet comprehend myself.

    “Do you want me to go in with you?” His voice came quietly as we stood outside my door. I nodded slowly, afraid of going in alone. We entered the dark house and I passed each room looking for my mother. I finally was at their bedroom door and I pushed it open, prepared to see my mother crying, in complete grief. I dropped to my knees instead; I saw something… something that no one should have to see.

    “You don’t have to tell me.”

    “No…. I think I need to say it out loud. It has never felt…. real. She… she hung herself. I found her hanging, limp. It was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen.” Sasuke gave her a look, knowing that kind of pain. She stated it all very factually, not embellishing anything. She still had some pain on her face, but she handled it better than he ever could. He respected her for her resilience, her calm after the storm that he could never seem to hold onto for very long.

    Itachi… was a great friend. He didn’t leave me alone for a long time. He took me out of the house and found someone who could help her… .help her down. He took me to his home, quickly explained to your parents and walked me upstairs to his room. He kept the door slightly open and I cried into him.

    Days bled into each other. I stayed at your house for a number of weeks, but I cannot remember exactly how long. He didn’t want me to be home alone, so when he was on missions I stayed with your mother. She would send you off to school, and you were oblivious. I remember the first time I met you, you asked me why I was crying all the time. Your mother scolded you and your father shook his head…. but I remember that I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you the truth back then, warn you that not everything ends the way you think it will at your age. That even though you imagine your parents being with you forever it never happens that way.

Itachi helped me prepare the funeral. It was something that I could hardly bear. They asked me what kind of caskets I wanted and I could barely even speak. Your brother was a master of many things, and reading my expressions had to be another after awhile. I felt as though they were hitting me over and over and as the world rushed by me in the fall I couldn’t feel any of the blows, too caught up in the world spinning madly before I hit the ground. The only shinobi at the funeral were Itachi and Shisui; no one else from the village bothered to show up in that department. The entire hospital tried their best to come, but for most of them I could see in theirs eyes that they were wondering how many more days it would be before it happened to them as well. And I couldn’t blame them for being afraid. I felt almost nothing as people came and wished me well, trying to give as much support as they could. But all I could feel was your brother’s arm wrapping around my shoulder, pulling me closer.

    After about a month I decided it was time to go home. I reopened the family business and tried to keep myself busy. I closed off my parents room and spent most of my time on the lower level, moving my belongings into the back room along with my bed. Itachi and Shisui took turns coming over, though sometimes they appeared together. My eating habits had declined, my interest in doing anything had gone down dramatically. Whenever they were around they would come in with bags filled with food. They would cook meals for me and put tea on the stove. Itachi would tell me stories about your family, usually something funny that would get me to stop sobbing and laugh momentarily. Itachi was the greatest support I could have asked for, taking each day one at a time with me. Many nights he’d stay with me, falling asleep against the wall while I slept in my bed. He never asked for anything in return, and it was one of the only times in my life.

    I don’t think your father approved much of our relationship. He was more focused on Itachi becoming even more renowned in the village. I remember once when I was visiting your mother, thanking her for all of her kindness I heard you father talking to Itachi. He was saying that he shouldn’t waste his time on me and that I was making him lose focus. I knew what clans thought of us normal people; that we were a waste of space and that I wasn’t worth your time. Comforting me was the right thing to do, but only for a certain amount of time. I didn’t go back to your house after that. I found a bitter taste in my mouth every time I saw your parents, wondering how far they would push Itachi to further their own agenda within the village.

    Itachi came more and more frequently, perhaps to spite your father. He would spend most of his time away from your family home, especially when he wasn’t on missions. He helped me with my family business, even meeting with some of my family members when I felt too depressed to order new supplies or when they wanted to know how I was doing. He would make me dinner on the nights he was home, making light jokes to try to keep my mind off of things. And there was no one I appreciated more than your brother, even if I couldn’t say it.

    She continued to pick at her food as she told more of the story, before the massacre. There didn’t seem to be much else to add, but she didn’t want to talk about what had happened. And she knew Sasuke would want to know if she had any idea of what was to come or if she could have stopped it. But he knew the answers to those questions already, whether he wanted to admit it or not. She tried to force the food down her throat, remembering her jutting collarbone in the mirror. She tried her best to think about the baby, but her thoughts were only consumed with dying.

    Sasuke had hoped that her friendship with Tenten would be fruitful, giving her an outlet for her grief. But according to Sakura it didn’t appear they spoke about their tragedies, simply ate together. If nothing else, he was glad that someone else was feeding her other than him. Her eyes were sunken in; she looked as though her hair was falling out. There was no spark in her eyes, just a dull ache that could carve away at the toughest marble. He remembered her being young and full of life, running around the town like a firecracker. She had always looked healthy, always been happy. Even after what his brother had done she had visited him with a large grin on her face, bringing baskets of food and doing his laundry. She took care of him in his time of need until he told her she wasn’t needed anymore. And even still she always made it clear that he had somewhere to go if he wanted to. She never asked for anything in return, and he doubted it was just his brother rubbing off on her. He wanted to repay her for all she had done, and tried to do when he was younger. And all she had done for his brother.

When she finished he started to clean up, but she pushed his hand away as he reached for her dishes. She walked over with her bowl and set it into the sink. Everything in the house was spotless except for where she slept, her blankets were tossed around and pillows scattered. She had an alarm clock that she often unplugged rather than face the early morning. The rest of the house was scrubbed rigorously, every detail as though her parents were still living. She started to wash the dishes and turned her head to him slightly.

“You can dry.” She didn’t say it forcefully, it was more of a weak suggestion if nothing else. But he grabbed a dish cloth and wiped every dish she handed to him and began to look for the places they belonged. She gave a small smile as she directed him to the right places. She remembered how this used to be with his brother and cousin. After a few months they both knew where everything went, and she hadn’t changed it since childhood. Out of the corner of her eye he almost looked like Shisui, except that his resting face was always angry or sad. Shisui always had a slight smile no matter how poorly his day went. She tried to remind herself that Sasuke had been through so much more than Shisui; the fact that he had stayed rather than leave as he intended in his original plan showed that he still had some small humanity, even if it was only a small debt he felt he owed to Itachi. Though she hated to admit it, the baby was changing everything, just not in the ways she had hoped.

While he was still busying himself she put a kettle on to make herself some more tea. She knew her throat would get sore from telling him the story, which was much longer than she wished it to be. She felt she could sum up the whole thing in a couple of sentences, but that wasn’t good enough for him. She may well have just written a book with all the names and dates and that would have made him more pleased than her telling the whole thing. It pained her to relive the past, though she relived it every night before she went to sleep. She tried to make the happy parts last longer in her mind when she told the story to the baby, though she left all the horrific details out for the child as well. She did not intend to spare Sasuke the pain he had caused her. She sat back down, willing to let him do the work of taking the kettle off the burner. Her ankles were aching, but pushing herself to do things was one of the only things that got her out of bed in the morning.

This was another task that Itachi was supposed to help her with. She remembered hearing that the men were usually supposed to help with little things like swollen ankles and morning sickness, but as she had never experienced the latter she only held him responsible for the first. There were more important events he would miss that she would always hold him accountable for missing; the birth, the first words, the first steps, the first day of school; the list could be infinite if she let it grow. But when she thought about all those big things, she felt as though the little things shouldn’t make her so miserable. It was one of the few things that she and TenTen did together, pamper each other in the wake of the grief. They ran baths for each other, painted each others nails, rubbed feet, cooked meals. Saya had held her hair on more than one occasion while TenTen lost her breakfast. They didn’t speak about the men they wished were there; they both knew there was no point in wishing. They were gone and there was nothing else that could be said on the subject.

When he finally sat back down with their tea she wasn’t ready to talk about the next part. She didn’t know what to say that could be comforting because the whole event had been so unreal. She could barely remember the details now, that part of her life a blur. It was an eternity away from her life now, even from her life with the Akatsuki. But she knew he needed to hear it from her.

“Did you know he was going to do it?” She could barely hear his voice as he gripped his cup tightly. She could only imagine how angry he would be if she had known something.

“No.” She stirred her tea aimlessly as she felt his anger rise again.

“You had to have known something was wrong.”

“I knew something was wrong, but he didn’t tell me what it was. When Shisui killed himself I knew something was going on but I didn’t know what. I was there for him as much as I could be but he didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted me to be safe from whatever was coming. You can believe me or not, but he never told me anything. He didn’t even let me see Shisui’s suicide note.” It had stung her to the core when he wouldn’t tell her what the note had said or let her look at it. After losing her parents, losing Shisui was another loss she couldn’t handle. She withdrew again and closed the shop. She had no idea what kind of horrors were to come. She would have tried to stop him. Losing him and gaining a new deluded perspective of him had made her question her entire life. She questioned how she could trust someone who could do that, how she had misjudged him.

“What about the night he did it? Did he act strangely?”

The night of the massacre wasn’t any different than a normal night. I wasn’t expecting to see him that night since he was more busy than normal. He was running around as a spy for the village, not that I knew that. I couldn’t account for why he was missing more frequently, but I did remind myself that everyone in my life disappeared. And I wasn’t wrong, even in that moment of self pity. I remember closing all the blinds and locking all the doors because something felt wrong in the air. There were no noises in the night, not even a single owl calling out.

I woke to the sound of my door opening. I had gone to bed early rather than contemplate my sad life again. But I felt groggy and nauseous when I turned the light on, looking for whoever disturbed my peace. I should have known who it was, but I was too asleep to register only one other person had a key to my house. When I finished rubbing my eyes, black eyes and cheeks stained with tears were my greeting. My heart almost burst out of it’s chest when I saw all the blood on him. I turned him all around, desperately looking to see if he was injured, not knowing what else to do in my panic.

“Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you? Please sit down, let me help you-” Itachi took my hands and shook his head. He reached around me and embraced me, taking me into his arms. Whatever was happening was speeding up at a deadly pace and I could not seem to keep up with the changing tides.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, still choking on his tears. And then the world went black.

 


End file.
